Thank you for cutting me down!

On my First full day in Palmyra, New York, my Mission President Jack R. Christianson took us to the Sacred Grove. Where Joesph Smith Saw God the Father and His son Jesus Christ. It it such a beautiful place that fills me with such peace. President Christianson let each of us take some time to ourselves in the grove where we could pray about the mission that laid ahead of us.

I walked out and found a bench facing a tree that had been cut down. At the time I felt it was very fitting for the situation I was in. As I sat on this bench I prayed to God asking him WHY things had turned out this way!

THE WHYS!

1. WHY he had me learn Albanian, one of the hardest languages to learn, and then did not give my body the strength to make it to Albania.

    2. WHY was it that I was the ONLY one that had to leave my new mission friends that got to actually go to Albania.

3. WHY was I not good enough to accomplish what the Lord had sent me to do.

4. WHY do I ALWAYS FAIL!

5. WHY ME!

As I sat there and prayed, I remember a Talk that was Given in the last General Conference given by By Elder D. Todd Christofferson.

“As Many as I Love, I Rebuke and Chasten”

He referenced a a talk about a current bush given by  President Hugh B. Brown that changed my WHYS into ANSWERS.

President Brown talking to Elder Christofferson...

"He told of purchasing a rundown farm in Canada many years ago. As he went about cleaning up and repairing his property, he came across a currant bush that had grown over six feet (1.8 m) high and was yielding no berries, so he pruned it back drastically, leaving only small stumps. Then he saw a drop like a tear on the top of each of these little stumps, as if the currant bush were crying, and thought he heard it say:

“How could you do this to me? I was making such wonderful growth. … And now you have cut me down. Every plant in the garden will look down on me. … How could you do this to me? I thought you were the gardener here.”

President Brown replied, “Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be. I didn’t intend you to be a fruit tree or a shade tree. I want you to be a currant bush, and someday, little currant bush, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for loving me enough to cut me down.’”

After thinking of that I  REALIZED that God was cutting me down. I do not know why, but I know that he has a bigger and better plan for ME. As I was wrapping up my prayer I realized how grateful I was. My WHYS turned into ANSWERS.

THE ANSWERS

1. THANK YOU for LETTING me learn Albanian and keeping me in the USA where I could get the medical care I need.

    2. THANK YOU for giving me the opportunity to develop even more friendships in NEW YORK.

3. THANK YOU for helping me realize I CAN DO ANYTHING.

4. THANK YOU for teaching me one failure leads to another SUCCESS.

5. THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME!

Life can be so much BETTER when we take a different perspective. I do not know what God has in store for me, but I know he is my "GARDENER" and that he is the one that will help me grow. All I can think now is the same as President Brown. "Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for cutting me down, for loving me enough to hurt me." I know that Heavenly Father has us go through hard things to shape us into the people we NEED to BECOME. I am So grateful for the chance that I had to be cut down so I can grove in the WAYS the Lord needs me to.

Who knows maybe I will turn into a tree like this one day!